Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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