found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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