I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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