You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize