oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
