Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
