it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize