Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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