I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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