using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
