I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
