I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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