Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
