I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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