you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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