I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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