Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize