No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
