nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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