Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
