She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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