you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
