so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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