I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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