just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
