Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
