Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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