nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
