I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize