Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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