New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
