the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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