if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
