Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize