Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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