I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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