At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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