Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You are a genius and a whore.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
