Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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