just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
