Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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