5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
