Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
