Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
