I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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