i think i have two assholes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
