You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
