Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
