The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize