If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
