if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize