he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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