Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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