So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
