Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
