I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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