she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
