Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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