hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
