So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
