hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
