"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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