So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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