my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am one with the molecules
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
