it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
