I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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