The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sobbing to NWA
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
PANTIES FOUND
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