Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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