We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
