Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got inside last night via doggy door
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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