I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
