ugly people sure do ruin things
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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