apparently the secret to your success is patron
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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