While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
