idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
