Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
