Ambien. No doubt about it.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize