just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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