last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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