In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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